Stoli and the Sad, Weird, No Good, Not Great Day and Night and Part of Another Day

Ok, I've hit another bout of travel sadness or depression or something. It's been kind of on and off for a week or two now. It's not the worst, but I have to try to convince myself to do things more than usual and I want to deal with other people even less. It's getting better. It may have to do partly with the weather; it's quite rainy here on the west coast. I don't need sympathy or worry or anything. I'm even still having fun and enjoying myself. I wouldn't change anything.

I have a lot of time to think (might be part of the problem). But I reflected back on a particular low spot and, in hindsight, I think it's pretty funny and would like to share. It may end up to be just a log of my day, but I don't care. You can stop reading if it's terrible. I just want to get it out, it's taking up valuable (probably not) brain space and I keep writing it in my head. So here you go:

Stoli and the Sad, Weird, No Good, Not Great Day and Night and Part of Another Day

I woke up and it was almost 10am. I really didn't want to get up. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I had been in my tent and mostly sleeping for almost 12 hours; that's not great. I wanted to just stay in my sleeping bag and tent for at least the rest of the day. I could tell it had rained a little, but had stopped for the moment. That wouldn't make packing up fun, but that wasn't the entire reason. I had just had a really good long happy streak and was hitting a valley I suppose. It was one of those stay in bed, call in sick, days; I've been there. But holing up in my tent isn't really a great option.

Eventually both parts of my brain lost and my bladder won. But once I was out of my tent I manged to convince myself to break camp. I had planned a long hike for the day and then camping at a small town a bit further south. I started walking, still heavily in a funk.

For the first hour it drizzled. Then it rained heavily for about 3 hours. Then it drizzled for my last hour. It was gross. It was what should be a great hike along the coast and partly in the edge of the forest. Every once in a while it jetted out to the coast and the wind was awful. At one of these clearings I saw a penguin on the beach. Just standing there looking like a sad penguin in the wind and rain. And I thought, 'I feel you penguin.' (This is strange. I feel like I saw a meme in the wild, some depressed penguin, and I totally related to it. Also, it's still ridiculous to me that this is possible, yet alone that it happened to me.)

I somehow ended the hike. All of me was soaked. Even my feet nestled in wool socks and hiking boots were just big puddles. Everything in my backpack was wet. I changed into dry clothes and drove to the campground.

It was a space in a small town, next to a rugby pitch. There was a very old building with a lounge area, kitchen, bathrooms, and bunk room. It was super windy and awful when I arrived. I talked to the caretaker, who was kind of bossy and I didn't even feel like dealing with nice people. He said it was supposed to storm. I decided to stay in the bunk room instead of putting up my tent in the awfulness.

The building was strange and little creepy. I went into the bunk room and picked a mattress out of a pile, plunked it on the ground, grabbed a pillow and blanket so I didn't have to deal with it later. There were two french guys that were also staying in the bunk room. They were in the lounge. We didn't really talk; it was kind of weird.

I ate dinner and had tea and read for awhile. But later that night I found myself sitting on a couch in the lounge area watching a home renovation competition show with four or five guys that were staying at the campground. None of us talked, we didn't even discuss if we should continue to watch that or find something better. It was good; I couldn't deal with real, talking, communicative, humans. Also, I could imagine if I were back in Wisconsin I could be at Lisa's watching Fixer Upper. It was soothing.

The expected thunderstorm kicked in. Then the power went out, of course.  It was after 10:00, so I took it as an excuse to go to bed (or foam mattress). I laid there in the dark. I took this creepy picture.

I did fall asleep, but didn't sleep well. Maybe I'm too used to camping. I need to be swaddled in my sleeping bag. At some point the frenchmen came in and went to sleep as well.

Early in the morning I woke up from a strange dream. I was camping with my parents, my sister and her family, and my brother and his girlfriend. We were sitting inside but I was looking across the table and out the window. I saw an extremely unrealistic earthquake coming towards us, I saw the ground rolling. I said 'earthquake' right before it hit us. Right afterwards my uncle Marty complimented me on seeing it before it happened, so I guess he was there too. I was proud.
Then I looked out the window again just in time to see a volcano erupt. It was dramatic. We had to evacuate. Then we came right back for our belongings. Then the volcano erupted again and we were told we had to stay put. My nieces were freaking out. I woke up. Natural Disasters, nice dream subjects.

I eventually gave up on sleep and went for a run. I ran through a deserted, calm, foggy, small town. I did not see a moving vehicle the entire time. It felt like maybe there was a natural disaster and I was forgotten. I ran to an estuary. I ran to a beach. I noticed a bicycle with a towel on it on the path. I walked over the dune. As soon as I got sight of the ocean I also found the owner of the bicycle, a naked man, coming out of the water. Luckily he wasn't looking in my direction and I was able to walk in to the other side and turn my back so we didn't have to make awkward eye contact. He was gone before I walked back.

Back at the campground I showered and then had breakfast in kitchen. That was actually kind of nice. There were people coming in and out and cooking and eating. It was kind of like being in a big family, busy and comforting. And everyone was friendly and kind, but also didn't really talk much. My kind of people.

That night it was kind of rainy again, but not stormy. I really didn't feel like putting up my tent, so I tried sleeping in my car. The back seats fold down and I was able to fully stretch out and it was actually fairly comfortable. I've done it a few times now. I have actually slept in my car down by the river. Living my dreams.

So that's all. A string of kind of mundane events, but interesting in my state of mind.

Other things to note:

• I keep climbing mountains. It's wonderful.
• The rain from this morning has ended. That's good.
• My stand-in for cuddling up inside and watching Netflix is cuddling up in the back of my car and reading Harry Potter. It works pretty well.
• I still love it here. I have less than three months left, yikes!
• I overheard two Canadians talking about bears...it checked out. 
• I wanted to end on a happy note, and this is hilarious to me and making me happy
  

Road trip, south island. It's ferry nice here.

I took a ferry to the south island. My first car ferry! That was OK. It was more entertaining than fun...I'm still not a huge fan of boats. I just haven't really been on that many. There was actually a tiny theatre on board and I thought I might watch the movie they showed. But it turned out to be some boat caught in a storm movie. No thanks.

A van of birdwatchers waiting to board the ferry.

I arrived in the late afternoon and drove an hour or so to a nice, quiet, simple campground.

There are great trees on the south island too!

My second full day, I had booked to go sky diving. Again, I didn't really think about it. It was just something I had meant to do there. It was, of course, amazing. But also strange. I had been skydiving before, back in Wisconsin. I'm glad about that, it had been a much more personable, exciting, and somehow calming, experience.

Here it was a money making machine. I did not meet the person I was going to be strapped to, the person about to be in control of my life, until I was already suited up and waiting to get on a plane, about two minutes before we boarded. He got on the ground, unstrapped one human, went inside to exchange an open parachute for a packed one, came back out, introduced himself, gave me a couple sentences of instruction, then we got on a plane. A little plane packed full of as many people as possible. It was interesting. We talked on the plane: some instruction, some scenery explanation, some small chat. But it was pointless. I was already snuggled up and strapped in between his legs, don't bother.

I enjoyed the flight; it was beautiful. I didn't really register what was happening until they opened the door. Then I started to freak out a bit. We were the last ones out of the  plane, so I was able to panic for a minute or two. Then we jumped.

I did the highest jump they have, 16500 feet. It's something like 75 seconds of freefall. It was unbelievable and amazing and incredible and beautiful and terrifying. I loved every second. And the peaceful float down the remaining way. I wanted it to last forever.

It's then strange to just go about the rest of the day. All of this took place before 11am. How is everything still functioning normally? It's like I didn't just plummet towards the earth. No one even noticed. There isn't even a real difference in me. If that doesn't change things, what does?

The lovely 'you chose to jump out of a plane, clearly nothing is our fault' paperwork.

I gathered myself and bagged up all those errant emotions, feelings, and existential crises, and drove to the northern part of the island. I spent a couple nights camping on the east coast. In Abel Tasman National Park. It was beautiful. I went for a long beach and forest hike. While I was resting in the sand, I saw a penguin. I got up in the middle of the night to pee and saw a shooting star. Things are strange here.

Lost: Alison's kiwi ranger badge

Life's a beach.

Terrible picture of a penguin that I think looks like a dragon.

Always another waterfall.

Then I spent a night on a northern beach (Wharanaki beach). It was super beautiful. And there were seal cubs hanging out there. What!? Nothing is real anymore. In the morning a peacock walked by me while I was drinking my coffee. I may have died jumping out of that plane. Only time will tell...or will it?

Baby seal!!

Gary is loving it.

Who photographs the photographers?

Can someone write this song?

Other things of note:

• Ducks. Not only can they fly, but their body is a boat. You want a piece of my bagel? Get real.
• White people with dreadlocks everywhere. Everywhere.
• All the bug bites. All. The. Bug. Bites. Add the smell of repellent to the grime of sunblock. 
• If a person grows out all their hair at the same length (for example, shaves their head) and does not cut it, does it naturally grow to be a mullet? (I'm asking for a friend)

Road Trip, I can't think of a pun

I had another week between wwoofing hosts. You know what that means: car camping road trip! This one was mostly seeing beautiful nature and beaches and things. I drove around the east cape. It was lovely. Here are some pictures and my best stories.

Waterfall!

A lion? 

I don't recall why I was angry. Or why I thought a selfie was appropriate.

East Cape Lighthouse

It's called Ocean Beach. How thoughtful.

I settled in to a campground. After setting up my tent, I put down my blanket and sat on it. I colored in a coloring book and wrote some letters. I drew my parents a terrible picture of the scenery around me, complete with labels explaining what was a tree and what was a fence; I'm very talented. After awhile it got dark. I didn't really think about it, but i stopped writing because I could no longer see the page. But it was peaceful and nice and I was in my own world, so I just continued to sit on my blanket. There were two guys camped nearby, but I hadn't really talked to them. One of them walked over with a short string of twinkle lights and asked if I needed light. Then I realized that I'd just been sitting in the dark for at least 10 minutes, like a weirdo.

I had also been working on a bottle of wine, so I offered him some and he joined my picnic. His friend came over as well and we all talked for awhile. They were two Germans, probably around 19 years old (this is a very common demographic of backpackers around here). At one point one of them said he had a question for me, but couldn't think of how to say it, so he was thinking about it. A minute later he asked his friend a question in German. He responded, quite quickly, 'Donald Trump'. I chimed in with, 'Agh, no. I don't want to talk about it. Have you seen the stars? They're really clear tonight.' They then admitted the question he had asked was something like, 'Who is that silly American politician?' Accurate. They then made fun of me for turning to the stars for a distraction. In my defense, they were really great. And Trump is not worth discussing. Overall they were pretty cool people. They were hitchhiking and I gave them a ride in the morning.

Late in the week I arrived at another campground and decided that I was sick of moving around and should stay put for a day. So the next day I had the luxury of not packing up camp. I moved slowly and packed my backpack for adventure. I left the campsite at around noon. There was a trailhead pretty much right behind my tent. I walked a little, then read for awhile (still Game of Thrones). Then walked and read, rinse, repeat. The hiking trail was a large loop up a few fills, around a lake, and ending back at the front of the campground. It is meant to take about 2 hours. I got back at around 7:30. And then I didn't bother to go back to my tent, but sat in a tree next to the lake and campground and continued to read.

At about 8:00 a man came up to me and asked if it was my tent and car on the other side of the campground. I said yes was concerned that a sheep was eating it or something. This is entirely possible. He was relieved and explained that the couple camping nearby was concerned that I had not returned and was asking about me. This was something I had not considered, but I did go for a two hour hike eight hours ago. He went to tell them I had been found; I followed shortly after. The couple was not at their tent, but soon the woman returned. I went over to thank her for her concern and let her know I was fine. She explained that her husband had gone looking for me and she'd gone calling for him, but he hadn't heard. So now I felt bad and was concerned. I was also a little mad that I was made to feel bad for other people's concern about me. In her defense, she wasn't concerned about him, but she did hope he would come back soon, before it got dark. So then I got my camp chair and took it over to her tent. Again I  said I was sorry for causing concern, and said it was fitting that now I was concerned for her husband. We sat and talked until he returned, just before dark. Then I stayed and talked to the both of them for awhile. They were very nice. They have daughters around my age, which further explains their concern. Although I was in a cycle of being a little upset and upset that I was upset, it was nice to know that people notice and care about me. Humanity. Sometimes I have hope.

I got the oil changed in my car! Not really an exciting story, but I was proud. It's hard to remember that I still need to be a responsible adult. I need to eat vegetables and do laundry and take care of myself and take care of my belongings. It was a comforting situation. I sat outside the garage watching a man work. Oldies were playing on the radio. It smelled like grease and oil and real. I kind of wanted to stay after he was done with my car, but I didn't. 

Other things to note:

• I drank an entire bottle of wine writing this. I regret nothing. (I would like it noted I'm no longer doing wine induced facebook meltdowns)
• Cat Stevens singing 'The First Cut Is the Deepest' just played in my headphones. You know who you are.
• Every time I get a chance to eat sushi I do. It's delicious. It's becoming a problem.
• It got dark and I'm sitting in the middle of a field where I was running and rugby-ing. Now it's weird. Do I leave?
• Today I realized it's ridiculous that I didn't have a rugby ball. It was amazing to go into the nearest sports store and buy one. I'm never leaving.
• Now a wizard rock song is playing on my ipod. If you know what that is, I'm glad you're reading this.
• I didn't move. I'm now sitting in the dark in a strange location.
• This is who I am.